Forever Ink

 Forever ink. For someone like me who’s trust has been so broken. Thoughts are overbearing; anxious and so full of fearing. The first to leave me is divine, my author, my mother. I fear that she’ll abandon me, willingly or not, her disappearance is my greatest fear. My mother loves me. As much as she could when the other half of my DNA is tainted. She was my rock, my shoulder. She was the strongest woman I know. Life had knocked her onto her knees far too many times; she had always got back up ready to fight back at the threat of her children. She would let herself come second. Always her children first. I admire the simplistic trait of dedication. For when she passes, I’d look for her in books, oddly-shaped coffee mugs, and gardenias. Yet, I’d never see gardenias, they’re not common. I had one permanently marked on my shoulder. For someone as troubled as me, who loses herself in everything, I never want to lose my mom. She’ll be behind me, next to me, on my shoulder. She’ll lay me to sleep at night, she’ll rub my back when I cry. Forever. The Ink may fade but it will never disappear. She may fade but will never leave me.